I hate talking to people in the street. Don’t you just hate that forced courtesy, too? Truth be told, I’m not that big on human contact and interactions at all, but I simply hate all that fake affection when I have to pretend I’m glad to see someone, when that couldn’t possibly be further from the truth. And what’s with those staged conversations when you have to ask the person you’ve just met how he/she is doing, and then stand there and pretend you’re listening to their never ending narrative about their boring and slow lives. And then, when they finally finish showing off, the torture is not over yet, because then they ask you about your life, what your doing, what you’ve achieved, how much you’re earning, etc. and all that just to make you feel bad about yourself.
There is no escape from this. No matter what you say, no matter how carefully you plan your excuse, you’ll end up being rude, childish, behaving improper, etc. Well, all that is over! Here are some easy ways for avoiding these awkward and bothersome human contacts. You should simply pick up one of these 8 brilliant outfits and wear it every time you go out, and I guarantee you, no one will ever stop to talk to you in the street.
We consulted the king of awkward social interactions himself, Mr. Larry David. If there is a man that hates making pointless casual small talk, then it is the guy! You can watch short insert from the Seinfeld here and you’ll see how the cape works like a magic charm.
2. This Cap-like Thingy
I can’t really say for sure what the hell is this thing supposed to be, probably some crap for the sport fans, but I can tell you it sure as hell looks moronic enough to keep everybody away from talking to you, except the guys wearing the same thing.
3. Diving Suit
Yeah, I know it’s a little bit uncomfortable to walk about in a diving suit, but you have to work hard so you could latter enjoy your conversation-free time. It would be perfect if you could manage to find an antique diving suit, like this one:
but if not, a regular, modern one will do just fine, but you should then without fail dress up your dog or cat, or both if you have and take them out for a stroll. I guarantee, there will be people crossing to the other side of the street to avoid talking to you.
4. Orange Jumpsuit
Since we’re talking about prejudice, let’s mention another one! We know there are many people who might find this offensive, but that’s the whole point of article, isn’t it? You could have picked up from the title, that this article is not meant for the friendly, cheerful and open-minded people, but for egocentric jerks that hate everybody, and think the rest of the people are just too dumb and that there’s no use in talking to them.
6. Madonna’s Pointy Bra
Madonna is the only human being that can wear something as ridiculous as this and still manage to look hot and sexy. Everybody else looks like a complete douchebag. It scares people away even better if a dude wears it. On second thought, there might be a counter-effect. You might end up surrounded with a bunch of Lady Gaga raging fans all trying to talk to you.
7. Grow a Hitler Moustache
This is also a type of look that makes people uncomfortable. It works best if you grow this kind of mustache and take a nice walk in front of a Synagogue. There might be some enthusiasts trying in vain to make others believe you’re doing that as part of Charlie Chaplin tribute since you’re a huge fan, but no worries, no one would believe them.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about this cunning ways of avoiding making pointless small talk with people in the street. Who could say the answer is so simple? Just wear something ridiculous that will make them think your insane and possibly dangerous and aggressive and you’re off the hook. It’s a small price to pay for avoiding all those awkward and dull conversations. If you have some inventive ideas yourself, please let me know.
Via : Link